Financial farce forces fuckers to focus

Never one to shy away from controversy, I shall dare to suggest that the issues dominating the news at present will have very little affect on the readership of this blog. Unless your landlord happens to be a latecomer to the buy-to-let fad, has mortgaged everything thrice, including his children at his local Bradford & Bingley branch, and has temporarily unsmothered himself from the duvet to insist on a 200% rent increase, you will probably have found the turmoil only shocking in regards to the cost of an aubergine ("a quid for a bloody aubergine?!").

The only real malaise (and I only refrain from using the word 'aggravation' or, indeed, 'outrage' because I've just had two glasses of a lovely, Tim Atkin recommended M&S Rosso di Puglia - try it, it's only £4.50 (pretentious, moi?)) I've experienced from the financial crisis has been because of the horribly hateful habit amongst the media to alliterate as much as seems possible, given the restraints of time or, in the case of the press, space.

'CREDIT CRUNCH' has swiftly and reasonably become an unwelcome piece of trite and vexatious phraseology in describing current events, but no sooner had it been quietly ushered out of public view like a ropey old tart flashing her arse in an upmarket wine bar, in wanders an equally abhorrent slapper - 'MARKET MELTDOWN'.