Skip ITV

Inside the Guardian’s Media section on March 2, Steve Hewlett wrote much more knowledgably on ITV’s current woes than I ever could.

In short (because you’re likely to be of the generation that can barely concentrate long enough to read a house number i.e. mine) the recession does not bode well for old ITV as nobody has any money to advertise with them. Restructuring the main terrestrial channels that are not funded by license fee money is now important, as their revenues look set to shrink in coming years.

One thing about commerce pre-recession is that, unluckily for their employees, many businesses were only staying afloat because lenders could afford not to call in their debts. Failing businesses with no tangible identity or discernable strategies to create or increase business chugged along while they still could. How bereft do you feel as a consumer now that Woolworths and Zavvi have disappeared? ‘Not very’ I imagine. In the case of these businesses, you can’t help but feel that the recession didn’t cause their deaths but merely hasten them. While feeling sympathy for the unfortunate people who lost their jobs as a result, it should also be recognised that the recession is having this ‘straightening’ effect on business as it separates the wheat from the chaff. Coasting along on credit while ignoring the failings of your business is no longer an option.

This ‘survival of the fittest’ now seems to be applicable to ITV. Undoubtedly the channel is suffering due to a factor beyond their control, but it also seems about time ITV looked at the actual content they offer and see that it is also part of their problem. I read their schedule with more rampant depression than a dyslexic engineering undergraduate going through a reading list for a module on Chomskyan linguistics received in error. It is a veritable goldmine for the collector of poorly executed copies of BBC programmes. It is heaven for those yearning for embarrassing gaffes that interrupt sporting events at their climax and a primordial soup from whence all stuttering, wooden, sports presenters originated. Their few popular programmes are those that satisfy the lust of the morbidly curious voyeur, someone who thrives on others’ humiliation, is immersed in society’s love of judgment and celebrity, and lacks the imagination to do anything other than sit in front of a TV screen while other people make fools of themselves. When was the last time you watched anything on ITV and was it actually any good?

The BBC do great nature programmes and have commissioned some of the best comedies. Channel 4 import some good US TV and make entertaining documentaries. By comparison, ITV stands for nothing apart from lowest common denominator trash, and it would be neither surprising nor distressing if it ended up in the same mass grave as Woolworths, Zavvi and the rest, which it may do unless those at head office give some serious thought to improving the product they are currently offering the consumer.