One for the lexicon

I've invented a new sub-section of dance music - it's called gymnasium house. It's the type of music that evokes vivid mental images of obese women on exercise bikes at spinning classes, huge arses wobbling and banging about while the instructor shouts in time to the music '1..2..3.. ready... and FAST, FAST, FAST, FAST' while enthusiastically pumping his/her arms in the air.

What's so wonderful about it is this: if music shops and websites pick up on it, I will never waste a single moment of my life looking at CDs by those artists whose music would be found in the gym house section. 

The archetypal gym house track is this one. Others include this shame and this shambles.

So there it is - Gym House, coming soon to all good music shops and websites...